Mother to Benjamin and Mia is my favorite role in life—and it’s what inspired A Tale of Two Titties. One afternoon over coffee, my dear friend Demfis Fyssicopulos wouldn’t stop laughing at my wild breastfeeding stories and insisted I write them down. Before I knew it, I’d captured all those spit-up moments, midnight pump sessions, and hard-won lessons.

This book is my unapologetic love letter to every parent tackling bottles, breast pumps, and well-meaning advice from every direction. It’s packed with laugh-out-loud tales of triumph and disaster—because sometimes your baby chooses your favorite outfit as their personal bib—and a bold reminder to live your best life and not give a F*ck about anyone’s opinion on your tits or how you feed your baby. If you need solidarity (and a good laugh), this one’s for you.